GREATEST FISHIN' JOKES

Fairplay: A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours offishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restrictedfishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing . Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
(Contributed by Scott Jamison, Orem,Utah)

Wild Whiskey Worm: One day Jim was out fishing and was not having any luck at all, he tried lures, worms and other types of bait and was just not catching anything. Tom was fishing about 20 feet from him and was catching fish as fast as he cast his line out. Jim was getting very jealous of this show off, so he asked the Tom what he was using for bait. The man said " I am using worms, but I dip them in whiskey" Jim got really interested in this technique so he asked Tom if he could try one of these drunk worms. Tom had no problem with this request so he handed Jim one of the worms. Jim placed the worm on the hook and cast out no sooner than his hook hit the water, Jims pole began to bow like crazy, he set his hook and started to reel it in. Once he got his catch up to the shore he noticed that the worm had the fish by the throat.
(contributed by Jeff Walsh, Indianapolis, Indiana)

Phantom Fish: A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for itsfishing . The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man responded. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH." "What fish?" the man asked.
(Contributed by Frank Worm)

Fishermen and Funeral: Kent and three of his buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Kent lays down his pool, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and cast out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!"
(Contributed by Kent Knorr)

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